'Hero' Greek Woman Sets Fire to Drunken Briton's Genitals
THE TELEGRAPH: A 26-year old Greek woman has become an overnight national hero after setting fire to the genitals of a 23-year old drunken Briton who allegedly tried to sexually assault her in a crowded bar.

The unidentified woman from the fiercely proud island of Crete won herself even more praise by doing the right legal thing – turning herself over to police and the courts to be put on trial for what she claimed was her "right to self-defence".

She will face a magistrate on Friday to see if the case will go to court.

She is currently facing an investigating magistrate on charges of causing bodily injuries to the Briton and of endangering private property.

The Briton himself, whose name is expected to be released later, is currently in a private clinic in Heraklion, the capital of Crete island, being treated for second degree burns to his testicles and penis.

According to a police statement issued last night the incident occurred at a club in the notorious coastal resort of Mallia, which is dominated by young Britons seeking all-night revelry.

It alleged the Briton took down his trousers and started waving his genitals at a number of girls. He then specifically "forcefully fondled" the 26-year old Greek woman, asking her to take hold of his genitals.

After asking him to stop harassing her, the police said, she poured the alcoholic drink Sabucco on his genitals (an Italian brand type of Greek ouzo or French Pernod drink).

This again allegedly failed to stop his advances, so the woman seized a lighter and set fire to the alcohol-drenched genitals, local press reports said. >>> Paul Anast in Athens | Thursday, August 06, 2009

Don’t Touch Dem Da Balls In Italy; They’re a No-Go Zone!
Photo of David's hmm 'nether regions' courtesy of The Guardian
THE GUARDIAN: Italy's highest appeals court has ruled it is a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public - a judgment that has far-reaching implications for superstitious males.

Anyone who has seen a hearse go past in Italy, or been part of a discussion in which some terrible illness or disaster is mentioned, will know it is traditional for men to ward off ill luck with a quick grab at what are delicately called their attributi.

The practice has become increasingly frowned on, but Io mi tocco i (I touch my) is a common phrase, equivalent to crossing fingers. The judges of the court of cassation suggested those seeking luck should return to the privacy of their homes before letting their hands stray trouserward.

The court was ruling on the appeal of an unnamed 42-year-old workman from Como near Milan. In May 2006, he was convicted of indecent behaviour for "ostentatiously touching his genitals through his clothing". His lawyer said it was merely a "compulsive, involuntarily movement, probably to adjust his overalls".

The third penal division of the Rome court was having none of it. It said that public genital-patting "has to be regarded as contrary to public decency, a concept including that nexus of socio-ethical rules requiring everyone to abstain from conduct potentially offensive to collectively held feelings of decorum".

The judges said such actions risked generating "awkwardness, disgust and disappoval in the average man", unexpectedly perhaps failing to mention the average woman. Groin turns into no-go zone for luckless Italians >>> By John Hooper in Rome

Mark Alexander (Paperback)
Mark Alexander (Hardback)