MARK ALEXANDER: If you are anything like me, you are p****d off by all the ‘advice’ thrown at us by so-called specialists.
Each day, I am subjected to phoney advice, proffered often by phoney specialists, about what I am supposed to eat, and what I am supposed to drink, what I should never eat if I want to achieve a ripe old age, and what I should never drink. I shouldn’t eat “these five foods” for, if I do, I shall surely suffer a premature death! Ditto drinks: I shouldn’t drink this or that, especially not alcohol — oh for Christ’s sake don’t drink alcohol! — all hope is lost for you if you do!
It goes without saying that we should not enjoy a cigarette under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Just a few puffs on a cigarette will surely put us all into an early grave! (Call the undertaker to prepare a coffin!) Our arteries will be stuffed up, clogged with nicotine, and our hearts, f****d up, too!
In the name of political correctness, don’t utter this word, or that one. And get ready to give up all pleasures in life.
Clear it should be to all by now that we are living in the ‘New Puritanical Age’. Pleasure is strengstens verboten! People have become such boring old farts!
© Mark Alexander
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