THE TELEGRAPH: Christmas cracker firm Swantex has dropped dozens of jokes, including mother-in-law gags and references to animal cruelty, in favour of more ‘politically correct’ alternatives.
The company, Britain’s biggest manufacturer of crackers, said the overhaul was needed to make sure its humour was in keeping with “changing attitudes”.
Among jokes to be dropped is: “What does a transvestite do for Christmas? Eat, drink and be Mary.”
They are being replaced by one-liners such as: “What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper.”
A spokesman for Swantex, which is owned by the Byk family, said: “Jokes are tested by an experienced Swantex panel, including members of the Byk family in laboratory conditions, i.e. over lunch with optional wine. Jokes that fail to register a smile or a groan are not included in crackers.” Christmas cracker jokes go 'politically correct' >>> Alastair Jamieson | Wednesday, November 25, 2009
THE TELEGRAPH: With the weak pound contributing to a shortage of fir trees, Judith Woods wonders whether it's time to go fake this Christmas.
As the festive season looms, Europe is yet again giving with one hand (Lebkuchen, Panettone) and taking with the other (commandeering our Christmas trees). The dismal euro rate means that foreign tree exporters are reluctant to export to Britain, and our growers are sending their spruces to the likes of Spain and the Soviet Union, where they can earn up to 30 per cent more than previously.
Short of closing all the ports – which would be a shame, as how else would we get our Stollen and Belgian chocolate Santas? – we must counter this vile fir trade the only way we know how: by raising our chins, stiffening our upper lips and Faking It.
However, being British means agonising over etiquette, so the subtle nuances that separate U from Non-U are guaranteed to keep even the most insouciant of hostesses awake at night. Are plastic needles tacky? Can a pre-lit tabletop tree ever pass as stylish? At what point does faux turn into a faux pas? >>> Judith Woods | Tuesday, November 24, 2009
