Photo courtesy of The Sun
First, our telephone interview is abruptly halted when the police "would like a word" with her. "Gotta go, I think I am being questioned," snaps Jane Felix-Browne, and the line goes dead.
Ten minutes later, she is back - minus her passport and boarding pass, apparently - and reading aloud from a card that has been kindly handed to her, presumably by some men with large guns.
"Under Section 7 of the Terrorism Act, it is your duty to be truthful... you must provide any documents, passports... blah blah blah... you are not under arrest," she reads.
Woah! Hold on. Is she being detained? On what grounds? Surely even she wouldn't be daft enough to put her married name on her passport?
She sounds irritated rather than concerned. "It's a formality. I've done nothing wrong. I've had this before. Let's keep talking until they come back."
However, we are again interrupted - this time by a choking sound that cuts her off in mid-sentence. Whatever now?
Has she been marched away in handcuffs? Strangled? Wrestled to the ground by a fellow passenger who took issue with the family name?
Alas, nothing so dramatic. "Sorry," she splutters. "I was trying to take a drink while wearing a burka. I've poured it down me. What a mess."
So begins the farce that is interviewing Jane Felix-Browne, aka Mrs Omar Bin Laden, daughter-in-law of Osama - yes, that Osama.
A few days ago, her neighbours in the tranquil Cheshire village of Moulton knew Jane as just another slightly dotty grandmother who sat on the parish council.
She was a bit odd, granted, with a face unnaturally smoothed, it was rumoured, by Botox and the surgeon's scalpel.
She was always off on exotic jaunts to the Middle East, and spoke of her devout Islamic faith - but all in clipped English tones. Revealed in the world's first full interview: The bizarre world of Mrs Bin Laden (more) By Jenny Johnston
