THE TIMES: A true Muslim marriage is about husband and wife helping each other attain paradise says Na'ima B. Robert
Bismillah*
My husband is ill. He lies in bed, in the dark. I try to keep the children quiet. I try to keep them from disturbing him. I try to get them to sleep without too much fuss.
When all is peace, I tiptoe into the room. I feel his forehead for signs of a fever. I ask him if he needs anything. He needs to drink fluids, Vitamin C. I know this. And I also know that he won't ask.
So I go to the kitchen, put the kettle on. I mix him a drink - lemon to fight the cold germs, honey to soothe his sore throat, fresh mint leaves to lift the taste a little. I say 'Bismillah' before I pour the hot water, make a little prayer for his well being, before taking it to him. He smiles through his discomfort. I have brought him ease.
But I wave away his thanks. It is nothing.
I am his wife. That's what I'm here to do.
Some may sneer at these small acts of kindness. Some may shake their heads pityingly at this description of servitude. But they don't understand my life or my motivations. They do not know, do not understand that I married my husband for the sake of Allah.
Our goal, from the outset of a marriage arranged by mutual friends, was to help each other to attain Paradise. Nothing more, nothing less.
We went about our marriage the traditional Islamic way. We didn't date, we didn't cohabit, we didn't spend any time alone. We met a few times, in the company of my guardian, asked each other innumerable questions, discussed every issue that was important to us. My husband flew halfway across the world to obtain my parents' consent and we were married, with a marriage contract and a mahr (dowry paid to the bride) but no pomp or ceremony, in a room in Baker Street. >>> Na'ima B. Robert** | Monday, August 24, 2009
*In the name of Allah
**The founder and editor of Sisters Magazine >>>
