ADVOCATE: Straight people may never fully understand the bravery it takes to be an out LGBT person, because their relationships are recognized and affirmed with every TV ad, romantic comedy, and Top 40 hit. LGBT people have to fight for representation and carve out spaces where “two men kissing” is not a frightening image but a celebrated one. In the face of sexual oppression and antigay violence, fearmongering and queer erasure, our public displays of affection are acts of revolt.
Browse these 34 PDAs that straight people take for granted, many of which still come with safety concerns for many people in the LGBT community. Those of us who are able should engage in them as much as possible, now more than ever. Show the world the power of #TwoMenKissing. Love each other, and dance all night.
You’ve probably seen it: two gay men holding hands at a theme park, walking briskly, with rigid arms and cold expressions. They almost seem like militants, cutting through the crowd, matching stride, never cracking a smile.
“Look at the joyless couple,” a friend and fellow homo said, nodding at one such couple the last time I was at Disney World. Whenever I see one of these “joyless couples,” I feel like crying or cheering or screaming or some variation of the three. They are usually young. This may be the first time they have ever held hands in public, and they are determined to do it, goddamn it — but they’re scared.
Their body language betrays their fear. Other gay men spot it easily because we have all been there. I have been there. My first time holding a man’s hand was at a theme park, and I could hardly breathe. My palms were sweating, and after a few minutes I let go. Almost immediately I felt angry at myself for being unable to last longer. Around me, straight couples were walking by, fingers interlocked. It seemed so effortless for them, so comfortable. Why was I so terrified?
The wrongness and unfairness I felt in that moment was heteronormativity and gay oppression. These words might seem academic and sing of protest, but they describe very real problems. As gay men, we are taught to fear public displays of affection from day one — because the little animated boy dog falls in love with a girl dog; because Spider-Man swoops down to save Mary Jane, not John; and because, in the first story I was ever told, God created Adam and Eve, not … well, you know the rest. » | Alexander Cheves | Undated
Author ALEX CHEVES encourages you to leave your own suggestions for sex and dating topics in the comments. Hungry for more? Follow him on Twitter @BadAlexCheves and visit his blog, The Beastly Ex-Boyfriend.
