One thing that impressed me years ago when I worked in the Middle East was the sight of two men walking down the street, holding hands. Naturally, coming from the West, I was very surprised to see it at first. Why? Because homosexuality is strictly verboten in Middle Eastern countries. Men holding hands seemed a gay thing to me in those days.
However, what I soon discovered was this: men holding hands in the Middle East is not a gay marker at all. It is simply two Muslim brothers showing warmth and non-sexual affection for each other. It has everything to do with the Muslim brotherhood. It is also a mark of respect for the other. In fact, as a mark of respect, they also kiss each other, particularly on the forehead. I lost count of the number of times I saw my male students showing each other affection, even in the classroom. But I stress that they were not sexual gestures.
There are many aspects of Islam which are most impressive: this cultural habit is/was one of them. How uptight we Westerners are when it comes to men showing each other affection in any shape or form. Particularly the further north in Europe one goes; and more especially in the Anglosphere. Brits are probably the most uptight about this sort of thing. (I am the exception.)
This affection was often shown to me, their instructor, as well. My students—I always taught adult males there—also used to want to walk down the corridor holding my hand as well! It was a mark of their respect for me. They would also carry my briefcase for me back to the staffroom. At first one is a little surprised (and embarrassed) to walk down the corridor holding another man's hand (I wasn't out in those days), but one soon gets used to it.
We could learn a lot from the Islamic world. Christianity, it seems to me, lacks that sense of warmth and brotherhood. And if you’re British on top of it, that awful ‘stiff upper lip’ used to have to be shown. When I was growing up, it was so all-pervasive in the culture. Back in the day, a man dare not show his true feelings at all! Fortunately, it has got a little better over the years. Brits are not the emotional cripples they once were! Alhamdulillah !– © Mark Alexander
