THE GUARDIAN: It's a great shame a public figure like David Laws still felt a need to hide his sexuality as I once did
It was in New York in 1973 that I discovered the work of the Greek poet CP Cavafy. He was gay and in the closet. His only outlet of self-expression was his poetry. He wrote: "From all the things I did and all the things I said let no one try to find out who I was … Later, in a more perfect society, someone else made just like me is certain to appear and act freely." I wanted to agree with that but never thought it would apply to me.
In 2007 I resigned as chief executive of BP because I had made an untrue statement as to how I had met a boyfriend with whom I had broken up after an extended affair. He had sold his embellished tale to the Mail on Sunday. I attempted to keep it from publication, and in doing so I told a fabricated story (that I had met him running in Battersea Park, rather than through an escort agency) because I felt threatened about coming out. It was the same fear that had prevented me from going out to meet men in the usual way at parties, clubs and so on.
My chief worry now is that history seems bound to repeat itself. The recent resignation of David Laws, the former chief secretary to the Treasury, suggests that public figures continue to feel they have no choice but to cover up their sexuality.
When I was "outed" on someone else's terms it was an important and terrifying moment. But it also turned out to be a blessing. I was overwhelmed by the support and friendship of many people. Three years on, my life is much happier. I have a great partner and I feel much more relaxed about being open with people. I wish it could have been that way from the start. Continue reading and comment >>> John Browne | Thursday, July 15, 2010
