Saturday, April 04, 2015

Next, We Muslims Bring Sharia to Indiana

THE DAILY BEAST: Allah’s blessings be upon you, Mike Pence. Now that “religious conscience” means whatever, we Muslims are going to town!

I, along with millions of Muslims across the country, have to give it up for Indiana Governor Mike Pence and his merry band of liberty-loving Republicans in the state legislature. The “religious liberty” law they recently enacted may be causing an uproar, but for us Muslims, it means we can now finally impose sharia law in Indiana!

I’m not sure who is happier, the Wiccans or us? As The Daily Beast’s David Freedlander wrote on Tuesday, the Wiccans are loving this law. Okay, actually they think it’s a “horrible” law because of its potentially discriminatory impact against the LGBT community. But as Dusty Dionne, High Priest and High Summoner of the Aquarian Tabernacle Church of Washington State, told Freedlander, “If they are going to open up this can of worms, we are going to shove it right in their face.” There has to be one Muslim Wiccan out there who is truly delirious with joy. (Although I’m not sure technically if such a combo is possible.)

In any event, while the NCAA, Apple, and others may be thinking of steering clear of the Hoosier State, we Muslims are coming. Think a caravan of wagon trains heading to the Midwest in the 1800s, but this caravan will be all Muslim, and we will be coming to the state in everything from Mercedes-Benzes to taxicabs.

Some might be asking, could Muslims really impose sharia law in some fashion in Indiana—turning Indiana into a mini Muslim caliphate? Well, the Indiana law doesn’t just provide “religious liberty” for Christians. It provides “liberty” for all faiths, and that includes us Muslims. (Yes, that shrieking sound you heard was from the Christian conservatives who championed this law intending it to truly only benefit fellow Christians.) » | Dean Obeidallah | Saturday, April 04, 2015